Stop the Bullying

“COVID has broken you people.”
John Gamble

In 1904 Mark Twain said: “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” Recently, ReOpen Bucks has found itself firmly on the side of the majority as more and more people are starting to realize that there really is no exit ramp for this runaway train (an observation that some of us made over a year and a half ago).

Prior to this, there was certainly a time when ReOpen Bucks was considered “extreme“. Not too long ago, it was “extreme” to play on playgrounds, so we were proudly the extremists who took down caution tape to let our kids play. Not too long ago, it was “extreme” to suggest that a “non-essential” (I’ve always hated that term) business should open its doors, so we were proudly the extremists who fought for and supported the businesses who did. Not too long ago, it was “extreme” to want your kid educated in-person, so we were proudly the extremists advocating for schools to be open long before everyone else did. It was apparently “extreme” for us to have picnics, children’s playdates & story times, holiday gatherings for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, & Easter, and mask-free youth sports. We even went to a petting zoo. So extreme! 😱

More recently, vaccine employment requirements and renewed mask mandates have turned the tables and aligned a majority of Bucks County with the ReOpen Bucks position. This gives us an opportunity to pause and reflect.

When I pause and reflect on where we are, I’m disappointed in the markedly poor quality of discourse within Bucks County. It seems to me like we had several months of improved community relations during the Spring and Summer, but then things have quickly deteriorated over the past 2-3 months.

In this article I would like to do something that nobody in our community seems willing to do: I’d like to offer up some ways we can make this better.

Below are 5 principles that I think everyone in the Bucks County community should be able to agree to. While we certainly won’t heal overnight, I believe that abiding by these 5 simple principles will go a long way to reversing the tribal mentalities that have been tearing us apart.

1. Violence is never the answer and should always be rejected.

2. Spouses and family members should be off-limits.

3. Children should never be used as props.

5. Everyone should be presumed to have good intentions until proven otherwise.

Violence Is Never the Answer and Should Always Be Rejected

Hopefully this suggestion is not controversial, but nowadays you just never know. My expectation is that everyone in Bucks County, on both sides of the COVID debate, should be able to readily agree with this principle.

To date, I am aware of only two COVID-related situations in Bucks County that have been recognized by authorities as violence. First, Democrat New Britain Township Supervisor Cynthia Jones was cited by Doylestown Township Police Department for harassment after she hit Megan Brock over the head with a “Masks Save Lives” sign in July. Second, police investigated threats made via audio recording (warning: vulgar language) by a pro-mask parent against Central Bucks School Board Director John Gamble (shortly after he had cast a vote to keep masks optional in school). These threats led to Mr. Gamble resigning from the CBSD Board of Directors at the end of August, as well as a security detail being assigned to his wife at work.

Although ReOpen Bucks has been consistently accused of “extremism”, no member of ReOpen Bucks has ever resorted to violence in any COVID-related encounter to my knowledge. This is in stark contrast to the constant harassment and intimidation that ReOpen Bucks members endured throughout 2020 when we would go mask-free in public. I have countless documented examples of people having shopping carts shoved at them for not wearing a mask, or being approached aggressively & blocked from moving, that sort of thing. These encounters were almost always a mask-free woman (often with her children) being harassed or intimidated by a masked man.

For my part, while I have certainly never been violent with anybody over COVID, I know that many people have felt intimidated by my infamous “List” post, where I copied names from a public petition onto a list on this website. While there was nothing legally wrong with the list (I remember the ADA laughing about it with me when I called to ask if there was anything wrong with it), the simple fact that it caused so much angst and concern in the community is certainly something I regret. I apologize for having made it, and for its contribution to anxiety and stress within Bucks County.

Moving forward, I roundly reject any violence, including intimidation or threats of violence, and I call on all Bucks County leaders to do the same.

Spouses and Family Members Should Be Off-Limits

One of the ugliest aspects of the last few months has been the willingness to attack the families of prominent community members in an attempt to compel their decision-making.

Perhaps the most notable example comes from August, when WHYY “journalist” Emily Rizzo reported that Bucks County Health Director Dr. Damsker’s wife is “associated” with ReOpen Bucks. This reporting, which came on the very same day that Dr. Damsker was ambushed by local hospital executives, was based on a September 2020 screenshot of Mrs. Damsker commenting in the ReOpen Bucks Facebook group. We subsequently discovered that she was in fact in the group early on and she left of her own accord when we formalized our stance against masks in any school setting (a position which was in direct opposition to her husband at the time). By reporting that she is “associated” with ReOpen Bucks, Ms. Rizzo started a feeding frenzy among people who could only assume that Mrs. Damsker was actually an active group member. The entire Damsker family (including their children) endured threats and harassment over the ordeal. Ms. Rizzo’s reporting was so irresponsible that a couple days later she scrubbed all reference to Dr. Damsker’s wife from her article. By then the damage was already done, as community members were praising Ms. Rizzo for achieving a “victory for journalism“, including the aforementioned Cynthia Jones, who told her to “Keep up the fight.“

Shortly after Emily Rizzo normalized the idea of attacking family members, pro-maskers in the Quakertown community began to harass and attack the husband of QCSD Board President Kaylyn Mitchell (a strong advocate of making masks optional). The harassment of her husband eventually became a factor in her decision to not seek reelection this year.

Similarly, I consider it to be an indirect attack on family members to go after someone’s employment. I know this all too well, as the attack on my own employment forced me to consider the impact this could all have on my children. I’m sure that Dr. Damsker had similar concerns when Centennial School Board Director Jon Panofsky openly went after his medical license.

Your family, and your ability to sustain them, should be sacred. When people resort to these attacks, what they are truly saying is, “because I object to what you do, I will therefore attack who you are.” Challenging someone’s words or actions is one thing; attacking their personhood is another. Simply put, it’s wrong to attempt to leverage somebody’s own family against them, and it needs to stop.

Moving forward, I call on everyone to leave family members out of COVID battles, and I encourage all Bucks County leaders to call for the same.

Children Should Never Be Used As Props

On multiple occasions, I’ve witnessed community members putting their young children on display by having them recite prepared speeches — some, very clearly, not in the words of a child — at contentious public school board meetings. There is something incredibly disturbing about hearing things like, “kids might die — me and my friends could die” and, “I will hold each and every one of you personally accountable to the fullest extent of the law” from the mouths of children. These comments come from people on opposite sides of the ideological aisle, but they are equally inappropriate and unnecessary.

I’ve watched audience members cringing, shaking their heads and squirming in their seats as children relive emotional pain and beg for both mandatory masks, and for masks-optional. I’ve applauded any and every child who has spoken at any meeting I’ve attended, because although I find it detestable how they are being used, it isn’t their fault.

Moving forward, I call on Bucks County parents to stop coaching their small children to be their mouthpieces. Elementary school-aged children should never be paraded in front of adults to plead for a policy change, and we need to stop projecting our fears and worries onto them. One of the most basic reasons that I have used my voice to advocate for a full return to normalcy is because I believe it’s incumbent upon us to let our kids be kids.

I want to be clear that this is distinct from when older kids come to share their own thoughts or observations, which can be a valuable educational experience.

Rarely will you find me giving much credit to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, but I think he was absolutely spot on with this quote:

“When Facebook was getting started, nothing used real identity – everything was anonymous or pseudonymous – and I thought that real identity should play a bigger part than it did.“

For many years, the anonymity of the internet has encouraged us to grow further apart. It’s much easier to say hurtful things if you do it behind an anonymous account that hides your identity. People often say or do things online that they would never say or do in person.

By using your real name, you are forced to own not only the things you say, but also their impact — intended or not.

As an example of this, consider the recent “militia” fear-mongering that was initiated by local columnist Cyril Mychalejko. Mr. Mychalejko accused Central Bucks community member TJ Kosin of planning to bring a militia to an August CBSD Board meeting. This accusation was bizarre at the time and becomes more and more bizarre as Mr. Mychalejko continues it into October. While you won’t find me praising Mr. Mychalejko’s writings or his politics, I will praise the fact that whatever he says, he owns. Because Mr. Mychalejko, his target Mr. Kosin, and I all have our real names on the situation, people can do their own research and come to their own conclusions (i.e. “does it make sense that an actual militia with actual firearms would descend upon a Central Bucks School Board meeting?“; “Does Mr. Mychalejko produce content that is not wholly one-sided and politically motivated?”).

In contrast, an anonymous social media account that calls itself “Lady Bridget Whistletown” picked up on and amplified the fear-mongering, leading to additional panic and discord within the community. This anonymous entity is supported by some prominent CBSD voices, including CBSD Board Directors and candidates, which both lends an aura of legitimacy to the mudslinging and divides the community even further. I directly emailed the entire CBSD Board to let them know that there was no cause for concern and there would be no militia at the Board meeting. The only Board director who responded to me was Karen Smith, which is ironic considering that she had actually interacted with and supported the fear-mongering coming from the anonymous account. Mrs. Smith asked me to remove a particular article from this website, suggesting that doing so “might be helpful”. I immediately removed the article in question without hesitation as a gesture of good will. When I then asked her to clarify to the community that there was no cause for concern, she declined to requite the good will.

Let me put this plainly: CBSD Board Directors Karen Smith, Tracy Suits, and Jodi Schwartz were all enabled to sit on the sidelines and applaud damage being done to the community, because the account they were applauding was anonymous.

Since then, I’ve observed this account’s anonymity lead to other harms.

In true bullying fashion, the account uses monikers intended to mock its opponents. I (Joshua Hogan) am “Little Lord Reopen”. Jamie Walker is the “Confused Countess”. CBSD Board candidate Debra Cannon is “Loose Cannon” (never mind that using the term “Loose” to describe a woman has its own offensive component). Megan Brock is the “Duchess of Drama”. All I will say about this is that I have never used a scornful moniker in place of any Bucks Countian’s name. Doing so is churlish. I see a lot of similarities between honoring your own real name and honoring the real names of others.

The account also posted a shocking attack on the speech of Debra Cannon, who is deaf. My understanding is that the account owner did not know about Mrs. Cannon’s deafness at the time that she mocked her for it, and an immediate apology was made. While the account’s anonymity absolves the author of having to actually own up to their mistake, I find it humorously ironic that the apology was explained by some other made-up anonymous name.

To be clear, I don’t intend to complain about the content that comes out of “Lady Bridget Whisletown” or any other currently anonymous account. We all should be free to discuss ideas, including using satire or any other literary form. But when we do so anonymously, we subconsciously allow ourselves to go a little bit further than we would if our real names were on the line. I’m asking the community, including my own ReOpen Bucks members, to always put your name on your ideas, as a protective measure to preserve our shared sense of community.

For my part, this principle has made me realize that I have been using the @reopenbucks twitter handle since June of 2020 without tying my own name to it. To rectify that, I have added a disclaimer in the handle’s bio which now indicates that all account activity belongs to me, Joshua Hogan.

Moving forward, I call on everyone to stand behind their real names and reject anonymous accounts, and I encourage all Bucks County leaders to call for the same.

Everyone Should Be Presumed To Be Operating with Good Intentions Until Proven Otherwise

One aspect of COVID discourse that has become painfully obvious is that the two sides are just not listening to each other anymore. I think a big reason for this is the fact that both sides presume malfeasance from the other. Reopen folks often presume that their opponents aren’t truly concerned about COVID but just like to tell others what to do. Mitigation supporters often presume that reopen folks don’t care about the impact of COVID, or that they think it’s a hoax.

The truth is that both sides have been experiencing true stress, anxiety, and trauma since March of 2020. The further one is on either side of the spectrum, the deeper the wounds that they’ve endured. In fact, it seems like the only people spared from this are the middle-ground folks who never really cared either way. They probably look at all of us and chuckle.

One of the best things we can do to get our community back on track is listen to each other, which requires sincerity rather than cynicism. For my part, I believe this means that we need to listen more and speak less. Epictetus said it best: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.“

For reference as to what I mean by presuming good intentions, let’s consider school teachers and staff. Several community members attacked a Central Bucks elementary school principal after the school posted images on Facebook showing the principal helping a boy who needed some encouragement. Because both the principal and the boy were unmasked, people took the principal leaning towards the boy as some type of flaunting of the rules, like he was putting the boy at risk of COVID or something. The truth is that the principal was just trying to be kind and caring to the boy. There was no consideration of whether his intentions were good or not, and that affected people’s judgment of the situation, leading to bullying.

In contrast, a local school teacher commented on facebook that she wanted Centennial School Board Director Jon Panfosky to “vote to muzzle their kids. Hit them where it hurts.” It’s pretty easy to see that this statement comes from a place of animosity, so it is fair and reasonable to abandon the presumption of good intentions. Ultimately this facebook comment was a contributing factor in this teacher resigning from her teaching position in Montgomery County.

Moving forward, I encourage everyone to always presume good intentions until proven otherwise, and I ask all Bucks County leaders to provide the same encouragement.

To recap, here are the 5 principles that I think everyone in Bucks County should be able to agree to. If you can think of another widely agreeable solution, or if you somehow disagree with any of these, then please don’t hesitate to let me know at info@reopenbucks.com