One of the greatest movie quotes of all-time comes from the 1983 classic Sudden Impact, in which “Dirty” Harry Callahan, played by Clint Eastwood, challenges an armed robber who is holding a hostage to “Go ahead, make my day” (video here). The idea is that Callahan actually wanted the robber to harm the hostage, so that he could have the pleasure of enforcing his own rogue justice. Fortunately, the robber surrenders peacefully and Callahan does not get his way.

That movie came out almost 40 years ago, but the cultural significance and human psychology of that line is still applicable today. I find myself almost wanting the COVID enthusiasts in our community to continue their charade, despite the collateral damage that it will cause, because I know that I have them dead to rights.

You see, after everything that we’ve learned over the last year and a half, I know a secret that they don’t: COVID mitigations just don’t stop the spread. Lockdowns don’t. Masks don’t. Social distancing doesn’t. Arrow stickers on the floor don’t. Test and trace doesn’t. The truth is that COVID rolls along, largely unaffected by intervention. Seasonality is the supreme factor. Even mass vaccination has not stopped COVID from spreading (see U.K. for details).

People like to think that they have control, so they convince themselves that these various interventions work. I mean, logically it makes sense that maybe they would. But we have 18+ months of data. Here in Pennsylvania, none of these things have stopped the COVID craze. It’s obvious at this point.

Regardless of what mitigation efforts the COVID enthusiasts are able to accomplish, there will be school districts in Bucks County that treat COVID like a common flu: no masks, no contact tracing, no quarantine, no nothing. Hear this now: those districts will fare exactly the same in COVID metrics as any district that implements X, Y, or Z mitigation. You won’t be able to tell their COVID outcomes apart. I know this because I’ve lived it. I’ve observed Faith Christian Academy in Quakertown offer a completely normal, mask-free, no-social-distancing environment with exactly the same outcomes as Quakertown Community School District, who masked everyone up and ran the gauntlet of various instructional models. I’ve also seen the science that clearly shows social distancing the students never mattered, and masking them didn’t either. A year ago, I only had my intuition to pit against the COVID hysterics. Today I have both the real-world Bucks County outcomes and The Science™ firmly on my side.

And yet many in our community are all too eager to casually throw around the idea of masking school kids or locking down businesses. Just last night, three Bucks County School Board Directors voted against the Bucks County IU Health & Safety Plan, specifically because the plan does not require everyone to wear masks in all settings.

To all three of them, Denise Brooks (Council Rock), Karen Smith (Central Bucks), and Rachel Fingles (Bensalem Township), I say “Go ahead, make my day“. Continue doing what you’re doing. Give me more reasons to excoriate you publicly. Dig your own grave. I’d love to continue telling the world how ridiculous you are. So please, by all means, keep on going.

Next door in Montgomery County, County Commissioner and Team Apocalypse Extraordinaire Valerie Arkoosh is expected to implement a county order forcing masks on every public school student in her county. When cases spike in the Fall (because of seasonality), she may even go as far as locking down some businesses. Well, Valerie, “Go ahead, make my day“. Prove me right. This time around you won’t get away with it. Regardless of whatever nonsense you implement in Montgomery County, the COVID metrics of Bucks and MontCo will be indistinguishable. You know it. I know it. Dr. Damsker knows it. Your Senatorial ambitions know it. So what are you gonna do? To quote Dirty Harry again, “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?“.

None of you COVID enthusiasts will get away with it this time.

✅ For every school district that masks students, there will be other districts that don’t. Their metrics will be the same.

✅ For every health department that contact traces and quarantines, there will be others that don’t. Their metrics will be the same.

✅ For every county that locks down, there will be others that don’t. Their metrics will be the same.

Your nonsense will accomplish nothing except widespread collateral damage to children, local businesses, and social cohesion.

If you want to actually make a difference in the fight against COVID, then here’s what you can do:

  • Focus vaccination efforts on those who are at risk. Leave the healthy alone. You’re not protecting anyone from spread; you’re protecting the at-risk from severe illness. Respect the difference.
  • Start a messaging campaign that aims to rebuild trust with the huge swath of population who currently has no reason to ever trust you again.
  • Address the disruption that COVID hysteria has caused to people’s diets, exercise routines, and mental health. Help people get back to living healthily, so that they will be stronger when the seasonal wave hits this Fall. Healthy bodies are better equipped to conquer disease.

Anything other than that will not make a damn bit of difference. And in the future, after you’ve chosen to do the damage anyway, you won’t be able to say that you didn’t know. I am telling you now. I have you dead to rights. So “Go ahead, make my day“.